first of all, if this looks too long too read, skip to the end for my important thoughts.

so, I (Jana) have a few minutes! I kind of feel guilty for doing this, because there are a hundred other things i should be using this time for. oh well. I'm in the middle of making cookies, as well. My husband told me to not waste time on ironing but to do something productive, like make cookies. You've got to love him :-). so these are old, but patrick worked so very hard at making the nursery perfect for me, i wanted to acknowledge him. (i made him change the paint colour 3 times. after he had already painted it.) it is absolutely wonderful, and i am so thankful.

he also worked very hard at installing our dishwasher (thank you dad), which works perfectly even though he'd never done that before. also, we discovered a leak (more of a niagara falls) behind the wall in our shower, which he also fixed (with just a tiny little help from the plumber). We were without water overnight, and this was already 4 days past my due date. fun times. good thing i was used to it, being african and all :-).
my mother and my sister also worked super hard at restoring a dresser we bought on the side of the road. you think you get a good deal on something, then you end up paying more on supplies than it actually cost! i wasn't supposed to be around the paint fumes, so they spent days outside in the heat, and it looks wonderful. thanks, mom and lar.

patrick took us to the lake for my birthday. this is our last pre-baby picture. ever. kind of wierd.

the past few weeks have been incredibly stressful and frustrating, and my sweet husband wanted us to have a family day off, so he borrowed a boat, we packed a lunch, and off we went. (he also got me a spa gift certificate. that's why i want to make him cookies :-).
this is us trying to get our baby carrier worked out. that is one special guy.

i'm not sure if patrick put this one up already. even if he did, it's worth seeing twice.

although it is clear my daughter is not sure what she thinks about me, i have to say, it is literally impossible to describe how much I (and Patrick too) love her. pretty much everyone knows how much i disliked being pregnant. my sister told me she didn't like it either, but it was worth it because of what you knew you got out of the deal. i was skeptical. however, nothing on earth is more precious to me than this squirming, squalling bundle of baby and blankets. i never knew i'd be able to love anything as much as i love patrick. especially something that doesn't (yet) love me back. i know we're still in the honeymoon stage of our relationship, but i am convinced that everybody was right: there is nothing in life like having a baby. speaking of, i know patrick didn't talk about that much, but just like nobody could describe how wonderful it is to have a child, they also can never describe how difficult it is to actually HAVE the child. not to scare anybody, but i honestly didn't think i was going to make it!)

no to say that it's been easy. it's actually been significantly harder than i expected. they mean it when they tell you you won't have any free time. you honestly can't even take a shower some times. and there are nights where they wake up every hour. and you look out the window wondering if the world is still there because life for you has stopped, every day and night running into each other. but it's worth it. i would do anything for this child. i would give anything to this child. she has already changed my life.

last thing: i must add that our birth was absolutely wonderful. don't get me wrong; it was still 5 hours of excruciating pain, but other than that, it was wonderful. we had a natural birth at home with a midwife, and i cannot say enough about how that was the best thing. there were no complications, but even if there had been, the midwife is very experienced and trained to deal with alot. if she can't, the hospital's never far away, and there's enough time. so if you are pregnant, or will be, or the husband of someone who will be, don't overlook this option or write it off as wierd and scary. do your research, and you'll be glad you did. also, don't believe everything the doctor tells you :-). it's your body, and your baby, you make the decisions.