the life of a SAHM

so, back in the real world, when I was about 8 mos pregnant and working at the gym, I trained this one teenage girl. One day she asked me, very bluntly, what I was going to do all day if I weren't working. I smiled, but was kind of sad too because the woman's role in the home is something i think should be really valued, as old fashioned as that sounds, and yet so often gets kind of overlooked, whether you're working or not. but i don't normally get into things that personal in this uber-public environment. so anyways, in case there are others who wonder what I possibly do all day, sometimes I wonder the same thing! so i thought i'd keep track.

6.57 Wake up before Hannah, and instead of trying to go back to sleep, I actually get up, go get my coffee, take it outside to enjoy a few minutes of relative coolness, and have my quiet time. The only reason I don't feel like I'm trying to make it seem like i'm special is because I know how rare I actually do that, so i'm really not super spiritual. I haven't in much too long, and I know I need to. I need way more patience and wisdom than I have, these days!

7.45 Hear Hannah, go pick her up and realize the poop explosion patrick and i changed in the middle of the night was worse than we thought and actually went all the way through to the matress pad. try not to gag at smell. call patrick to get mattress out of crib for me to strip sheets, because Belly prevents this. put first load of wash in, sort rest. Hear my obstinate daughter repeating No, often for no apparent reason. it resounds in my head.

8.15 Give Hannah a muffin and a hardboiled egg for breakfast, to which she yells no repeatedly, even though I know she really likes it. breakfast takes a while. I myself sneak yogurt covered pretzels while she wasn't looking, and make plans for real breakfast later. leave patrick to fend for himself while i keep working on laundry.

9.00 Sit down with my own muffin and egg, which of course Hannah likes much better than the own she refused to finish and insists on sitting on my lap to eat it with me, getting crumbs all over floor that was perfectly swept when i came out of my bedroom this am. we do this while looking at recipe books together for a new muffin recipe, to use up our carrots. take ground beef out of freezer for supper.

9.30 Having cleaned up all 3 breakfasts, I take the multitude of vitamins/pills/supplements that are supposed to be giving me a chance at being able to nurse normally this time. Pray for the 1,000th time that it helps even a little, and go brush my teeth.

9.45 Put on workout clothes, hoping that will help get me to actually work out sometime later. also gives me an excuse for not immediately taking a shower, finding real clothes, and putting on makeup. hang first load of laundry out on line, think it's so hot already they'll be dry right away. talk to my sister on the phone, she tells me they aren't allowed to have clotheslines. silly. set out jar of peach sun tea so it will be ready for patrick's lunch. turn around to see hannah pouring shovelful of sand into jar of sun tea. remind her again where the sand is supposed to go. she doesn't like that.

10-11 Get next 3 loads of laundry done. Stop to play with Hannah outside before it gets too hot. Both of us become covered in sand. It's windy, which blows the sand everywhere. Try unsuccessfully to get muffins done. Take a call from preschool director at church, commit to working 2 mornings this week, on the days that I don't have my new extra child all day.

11-12. Make carrot-raisin-banana-sunflower seed muffins, altering online recipe only slightly (halving sugar, omitting chocolate chips). Attempt to entertain my now very clingy whiny daughter with her own cooking project: 2 mixing bowls, a cup of dry rice, and measuring cups. Works wonders, we have a blast, then have to pick up rice from, well, everywhere. she tries to help with her baby dust pan. muffins get done. say bad words to myself that once again i went to all that work only to get one batch. mental note: always make double batches!

12-1. Heat up leftover chicken parmesan sausage-bell pepper-spinach-feta "nummy noodles" from last night, for Hannah and me. we are both very hungry and tired. Too bad only one of us is taking a nap. Once again Hannah doesn't finished hers, I get her down, and she is confident mine is better. Let her continue bad habit of sitting in my lap and eating mine, because I dont' want to hear shrieking while I eat lunch. Get Hannah cleaned up and in bed. Wipe floor again, clean up lunch and muffin dishes. Sit down for approx. 7 min with new library book, feel guilty. Patrick is pushing to be home from lunch meeting by 1.30 so i can go to the gym.

1.34 Patrick is home, and I am not ready. Grab all clothes off the line so I don't have to go back outside for the rest of the day. Go to gym (already in my workout clothes :-) in my new kicks. Patrick and I splurged on tennis shoes that we have both been needing for, oh, years. A reward for how we've both been working out well.

2-3 Quite unmotivated, just feeling proud of myself that I'm there. Sit down on one machine after another, just moving down the line. Someone asks me for help, I remember how much I miss being a trainer. Think of my beautiful spunky little angel, don't regret it anymore.

3-3.45 Come home, Hannah's still sleeping! Time to take a shower. Evaluate how much time I have to "beautify myself", as Patrick says, and decide exfoliating my crocodile feet is more important than shaving today. Hear Hannah wake up, appreciate that Patrick's office is right next door to her room! He brings her to me, and we lotion our feet together. Me and Hannah, not Patrick :-).

4 Get Hannah snack, which she eats even though she yells no to whatever I suggest. decide cantaloupe i'm giving her smells rotten, kick myself for buying more fruit than we can eat and letting it go bad. again, she eats it anyways. she's not in her seat wearing a bib, but at least she's at the table. pick your battles. wipe floor again from large sticky drops of overripe cantaloupe. track down equally sticky child, drag her kicking out of daddy's office so he can attempt to work. start supper.

5 patrick comes to make hamburgers, i have taken care of everything else. he makes excellent hamburgers. unfortunately, we are out of gas for barbeque. patrick leaves to go get gas, I decide to play with hannah and leave gigantic pile of clean laundry on bed for later. big step for me! we do puzzles. lots of fun, actually. marvel at Hannah's intelligence and personality.

5.45-6.15 patrick comes home after trying 3 different stops to get new gas bottle. we eat hamburgers, coleslaw, sauteed summer squash. patrick drinks cherrywheat beer while i look on jealously. try to teach hannah table manners, like how to use a napkin. i clean up while hannah and daddy rough house on the couch. hope i don't have to clean up hamburger throwup with the way they're flying around!

6.30-8.00 go get Hannah's babysitter to practice the bedtime routine before we try it for the first time this weekend! makes me think ahead to special date night, get very excited, wonder which shamu dress to wear. try not to hover while Hannah shows Brianna around. I've never left her awake before, except with family. Not worried, except about the going to sleep part. leave hannah's room to go next door and attempt to make room in spare room for Gavin (coming on wednesday) to have a place to take a nap. try not to eavesdrop. Brianna does great, but Hannah still needs Mommy to put her down. it was the first time, after all.

8.30 come home from dropping off brianna, tell myself it will be ok, wonder how patrick will feel if i end up going home in the middle of our special date just to put hannah to bed. wonder if brianna should just not put her to bed at all, but let her stay up. slightly anxious about my baby, even though she isn't a baby anymore.

8.45 check email, glance at many many freecycle posts, giving away nothing I, or probably anybody, would want. Wish again to see bookshelves, toybox, child's table, and cradle. in good condition! see email from my dad reminding me it was my grandma's bday yesterday. remember i was supposed to get phone card to call her. berate myself for being a bad family member. promise (yet again) i'm going to have a bday calendar so i can send everyone a homemade card. go make fruit salad to use up all this fruit, and so i won't eat the pnut butter cookies patrick's making. end up eating fruit salad, cookies, and bowl of cereal. think for the hundredth time I should really start filling out irritating food diary for midwife, considering i'm one wk away from last trimester. does it really matter anymore?

9.15-945 start working on blog, realize i would rather be with patrick. no offense. go watch lost with patrick. talk with patrick about shifting around bedrooms and furniture, trying to find a place for charlie. decide he can just sleep in packnplay in our room, or even our closet since it's quieter. feel slightly bad for second child.

10.45-12 patrick goes to bed, i come out to finish blog. check calendar for the week, don't forget dinner meeting tomorrow night for advertising job, choir/orchestra practice wed night and sat morning, vbs prep tue/thur morning, gavin coming wed/fri, brianna coming back thurs night, big date night fri, and barbque sat afternoon. remind myself to check and see when my drs appts are this month. again hope baby charlie doesn't feel neglected. if it weren't so hard to tie my shoes or reach the floor, i might forget i'm pregnant. remember i was really supposed to clean our bathroom today. put off till tomorrow. remember hannah peed in her bath tonight, and i had just washed her bathtub. must do again. wipe kitchen floors again so ant colony does not decide they like pnut butter cookie crumbs. google strange medical condition, try to decide if it's worth going to the dr. decide against, as usual. do my nightly sweep through house, make sure it's picked up enough that it will not overwhelm me tomorrow am. crawl into bed beside my wonderful husband whom i love dearly, thank God for him. and that he also values my presence at home. Think back on my day, realizing i wouldn't trade a minute of it.